Oct 12 – Oct 24 Homework #1: Please post your short and sweet but also thoughtful reply that we started writing in-class under the people who replied to you. If you have more than one letter from more than one reader, you can write one letter to them by starting your letter with: “Dear, A, B, and C,” this way you won’t have to write to each of them separately.
Previous Homewrok:
Based on the two-page “writing a story” handout that you completed, write your very own exciting story. Please make sure that your story has a beginning, middle, and end.
In the beginning part, please write about where the story happened and the people who are in the story.
In the middle part, please make sure that your characters have a problem and are working on solving the problem. 2nd graders, please also build the story up to reach a climax. Please use the following to make this part exciting: dialogues, actions, and small moment description (5 senses). Please also include at least one simile.
In the ending, please how the problem is finally solved, what happened to the characters, and how do they feel.
Please post by making a comment here.
My characters are Tom,Amy,Rosie Mrs .judy and Mr. Bob,and they were at a Circus.
Next They were about to buy some balloons… And the problem was the balloons flew Rosie started to cry .
away from Mr. bobs swet hands. the climax is the show was starting in 10 seconcs ! and the solution was that Mrs. judy poped out and she gave Mr. bob her balloon because she was Mr.bob’s assistant
and at the end of the story all the kids smlied bigger then a picture
Dear Emma,
I like the part where it said “All the kids smiled bigger than a picture”, because I like the simile, where you compare the smile to a picture. Also I have a few questions. How did Mr. Bob have an assistant? Also, how did the balloons fly out of Mr. Bob’s hands?
Sincerely, Evans
At The Fair
One day, Violet, Grayson and Sue went to the fair. After they arrived, they can smell sweet cotton candy. They can see rainbow colored balloons, and red and white flags. They can also hear people discussing about the talent show.
First, they went on the Ferris wheel. Next, they got yummy pop corn and colorful balloons. While they were playing, they lost track of time and were late for the show. So they only watched part of it. Then they discussed how they can watch the part they missed. Grayson said βwhy do not we watch it next time?β But Violet and Sue disagreed. βThatβs not until next monthβ, they shouted. βWhy donβt we watch it on TV instead?β βAll right! Thatβs a great idea! β Grayson said.
It was a great day for all of them. They cannot wait to do it next month.
Oct.10,2020
Dear Alex,
I like your story! I like the part that you said they got yummy popcorn, sounds delicious! I also like the part when at the end you said, It was a great day for all of them. They cannot wait to do it next month. Keep on writing and you will be a great writer!
See you tomorrow in class!
Selene
Oct. 11th, 2020
Dear Selene,
Thank you for commenting on my work. I like when you said I will become a great writer and when you said yummy pop corn, I feel like I have pop corn in front of me.
Love,
Alex
Circus Show and Pop Corn
Daven and Parle are going to the Circus.
Before the are going to the circus tent, Parle want to buy some pop corn.
Daven said: “let’s get in line before we loose our seat, there are too many people.” Parle said: “but I really want some pop corn. Then, Daven got an idea.
Daven said: “I will go to the circus and you can buy the pop corn.”
“Great!” Parle said.
So Daven can go to the Circus and Parle can get her pop corn. Both of them were so happy because they get what they want.
The show was wonderful and the pop corn was so sweet.
Dear Raycee,
I like the way you write your story. I like Daven’s idea, and I like the part you said the popcorn was so sweet. The sweet popcorn make me want to eat them. Are Daven and Parle in one family? What part of the circus does Daven and Parle like?
Raymo
Dear Raymo.
Daven and parle is not in one family. Daven like the moive because he saw a king in the moive and Daven like king.
Love Raycee Zhu
Amusement Park
One day Max, Maya, and Lisa are going to the amusement park.
Max has a cotton candy, Maya has a drink, and Lisa wants a balloon. Max wants to go to the roller coaster, but Maya wants to go to the fairy wheel. They started to argue which one they should go first. Max had an idea by rock, paper, scissors to decide which one to go first. Maya and Lisa agreed. Max win the rock paper scissor, so they went to the roller coaster first. Lisa though the roller coaster was too scary, but it wasn’t, it was fun. After they ride the roller coaster they went to the fairy wheel, Maya was happy.
At the end, they went home and told their moms about their great day.
Dear Raymo,
I like the way you made your characters talk, because I like when you let Max, Maya, and Lisa talk different. And that is how I read your story. Did Lisa had things to eat or drink? Or she just got a balloon? Is Max, Maya, and Lisa a family?
Love Raycee
Dear Raymo.
I like your story because the story is told clearly and easy to understand. You also put some details in your story, for example, you described each friendβs pick and also how they resolve their dispute.
Best,
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
Thank you for writing me a letter. I like your story too. Thank you for Saying: It is easy to understand. I can’t wait to see more and more of your story’s, And keep writing.
Best, Raymo zhu
The Alien Fair
One beautiful summer morning, Lili, Jack, and Haley went to the fair. Little did they know that it would be a most unusual fair.
“We’re here!” Cried Lili, “At the fair! Isn’t this wonderful?”
“It is wonderful!” Replied Jack.
“Oh, look, balloons!” Said Haley. She went off to get some balloons from Mr. Baker, the balloon keeper.
“Don’t go too far.” Said Lili.
“Yeah, I know.” Said Haley.
“What should we do first?” Asked Jack, “Maybe we should go get some popcorns.”
“Sure.” Lili said.
The popcorn smelled as sweet as cotton candy!
“Let’s get a small bag.” Said Jack, “I’m not that hungry.”
“Correct!” Said Lili, “I’m not that hungry, either.”
Before they could get any popcorn, Haley came rushing in holding her balloon and saying, “Look! Look! Look at my balloon!:
“That’s really pretty!” Said Jack.
“Yeah.” Agreed Lili.
They turned back to the popcorn, but all the popcorn was gone! They turned to the balloon section, the balloons were gone, too!
“Let’s go to the Ferris Wheel.” Jack said after some time of silence. So, they went to the Ferris Wheel. To their surprise, the Ferris Wheel had broken down! They went to the movies next to see if something was wrong with the movies. Something WAS wrong with the movies! Electricity was gone and the movies didn’t work!
Suddenly, thunder filled the air and lightening struck.
“That must be the reason for the electricity to be gone.” Said Lily.
Jack and Haley agreed.
“We should go home.” Lili continued.
“No!” Said Jack, “We should stay here and see what’s going on.”
“I guess so.” Lili muttered.
They saw that the roller coaster has stopped working.
“What do you think is going on?” Haley asked a man in a wheelchair.
“Next time, say ‘Hi’ and ‘How are you doing’ before you ask a question.” Lili whispered. Haley nodded as the man said, “I’m not sure, but I saw a zip! in the spot where the Ferris Wheel is.” Then the man went away.
They heard screaming:
“GIVE ME FOOD!!”
Someone shouted, “Aliens!”
Everyone including Jack, Lili and Haley, screamed.
“Let’s fight!” Haley said.
“Fight?” asked Jack, “How do we fight?”
“Come on. We can’t just leave now and not fight!” Lily said.
“Yeah… blah blah yada yada yada…” Said Jack, “OK, fine!”
They fought until they were sweating.
“Can we eat popcorns first before we fight again?” Haley asked.
“Sure, but is there more popcorn?” Lili asked.
“Yes, there is!” Said Haley.
So, they got some popcorn to eat.
The alien, thinking the popcorns were theirs, ate them all.
“Maybe they are hungry.” Said Jack.
Haley and Lili did not say a thing. Their faces were white as paper.
After the aliens ate, they said, “Sorry for the mess. We mean no harm. We were hungry for food. We made weird things happen because we were hungry.”
“It’s Okay.” Jack and Lili said.
“Then…” Haley started to say something, but before she could finish, the aliens were gone.
A “Diiiiiiiiing Ding Ding Ding Ding!” sound interrupted. Lili sat up and said, “Oh, no! Aliens! Oh no! EEEEEK! The Fair!”
“Phew! Lili cried, “It was all a dream!”
She got out of bed and really went to the fair. Well… Almost…
The End… The End?
Oct. 6, 2020
Dear Selene,
I like how you make a good alien problem and how you solve that it was just a dream. The next part I like is when Jack says βyeahβ¦ blah blah yada yada yadaβ¦β and when the aliens say βGIVE ME SOME FOOD!β It is really funny! The last thing I like about is the very good beginning, middle and end, dialogues, digraphs and action words.
Great job! I love reading your story. I cannot wait to read more of your stories.
Love,
Alex
Dear Selene, October 10th 2020
I like your story. The story is for kids because it puts a big movie in the readers mind. Also the story was easy to understand. I liked the exclamation marks in the beginning. I also liked the dialogues. When Jack said βYeah…blah blah yada yada yada…β It was funny. I hope l can read more of your stories.
Your Best Friend,
Sophia
Dear Selene,October 11 2020
I like your story because you described it , for example you said it was a sunny day
Dear selene,
I love your story. My favorite part is when lili found out it was a dream. I am looking forward for your story!
Oct. 11 2020
Dear Alex, Sophia, Emma, and HelenοΌ
Thank you for saying you liked my story! I like your stories too! My new story is coming soon. Stay tuned.
Your friend,
Yue-Yue
It was the last Sunday before School starts. Four years old Julie and her teenager brother, Steve, went to Indiana State fair for some fun. Their mom was a nurse and had to work that day.
There are a lot of people and events in the State fair. A lot of teenagers and young adults lined up for the rides of spinning boat and rollercoaster. You can hear screaming coming from these 2 sites even before entering the state fair. Music came from the big tent when circus show started, which were some time interrupted by fierce applause. Air is fused with delicious smell of smoked hot dog and Turkey legs. Young kids are often canβt resist the sweet and creamy smell of popcorn.
Julie and her brother tried different rides in them morning. Julie really enjoyed them. It was lunch time, they are hungry. Steve decided to get some lunch for him and Julie. He asked Julie to stay where she was until he returned. But Julie found a balloon stand 50 yards away, she canβt help walking toward the stand. She had 2$ in her pocket and she wanted to buy a beautiful red balloon. While her brother returned with lunch, he canβt find Julie. He looked all around, there were people everywhere, there was only no Julie within his sight. He shouted Julieβs name, but the sound around him make it impossible to hear even 10 yards apart. He did not know what to do, he tried to call his mother. But his mother did not answer the phone. So He now has one thing in his mind, It is looking for Julie by himself or getting a police man or state fair clerk to help look for Julie. On the other hand, Julie finally bought a red balloon, she turned back and suddenly remembered her brotherβs words. She tried to remember where she was before, but she just canβt. Everywhere looks similar but not exactly where she stood before. She was so scared as she was in a jungle of full uncertainty and started crying.
Emma and Dillon were not far from Julie chatting some interesting things in school. They saw a little girl crying, so they went up to Julie to check what had happened. They decided to help sooner they learnt that Julie was lost. Emma said to Julie, βDonβt worry, we will help you find your brother. Can you tell me what your brotherβs name and age? β Julie replied, βMy brother is Steve, he is 14.β Dillon said, βI know where to find state fair officer, I will go talk to them and ask them make an announcement. Can you stay where you are now? Donβt leave. I will be back shortly. β Emma said, βSure, I will accompany Julie.β Then Dillon left. He went straight to the main entrance. A couple of policemen and a few state fair clerk were there checking in visitors. Dillon talked to one of state fair clerk about poor Julie. The clerk immediately called someone using her walkie talkie. The clerk asked for some detail, such as Julieβs brother name, how old are Julie and her brother, where was Julie now. A moment later, Dillon heard an announcement about Julieβs loss, the announcement was repeated 2 more times. Even with a lot of background noise, the message can be heard very clearly from anywhere on the state fair ground. Dillon was quite sure that Julieβs brother would hear it, so he started walking back to where Emma and Julie were.
Dillon were now back with Emma and Julie. Emma shared her cotton candy with Julie and was telling her a story. Julie was smiling instead of crying. Just then, a teenage boy appeared. Julie saw the boy and cried excitingly, βSteve, my brother.β Steve gave Julie a big hug, he thanked Dillon and Emma for their help to take care of Julie and to look for additional help.
Dear Nicole,
Oct 11, 2020
I like your story. Because it is a long story. Your story has key elements. And it was told clearly. I understand it very well. Your story has a lot of details which I like the most. I also like the ending that Steve finally found his little sister. I always like happy ending story. I hope you can write more interesting stories in the future.
Sincerely,
Letian
My characters are Ben, Red, Rose and Den.’
They wanted to go to a ride but it was too late.
There are so many games to play. So they play the games one by one. When they saw it was time for the best ride, the state fair closed.
They loved the ferries wheel because they love height.
The went home and made a carnival.
Dear Evans,
You have a great story plan! I especially like the part that there are so many games to play. I can’t wait to read your actual story — what are the games? How do they play the games? How do they feel? What are the color, sound, etc that they see and hear?
Best,
Ally
At the carnival π‘ .
βThis is the funniest play date ever!β Ryan said. βWhere should go next?β Gabby said. βTo the carnival π‘ !β Catherine shouted. βThatβs a great idea π‘ ! Ryan said as his hair sticked up.
When they were at the carnival π‘ ,they were excited π . The carnival was as big as a university. When they saw the circus, it had big long stripes and inside the circus, there were magical horses and talented people. But they smelled odd smells and heard the noisy and loud sounds outside of the circus. Just then… Catherine yelled out, βl want balloons!β βl want a cup of soda!!β Gabby yelled. βl want cotton candy!!!β Ryan shouted. But when they were at Duncan Domes, they found out they didnβt have enough tickets. βWhat will we do?βasked Ryan. βMaybe we can play more games and earn ticketsβGabby exclaimed. So they played 20 more games and earned 100 more tickets. Then they ran back to Duncan Domes and bought cotton candy, soda, and balloons.
They had a fun time and decided that they will have another play date next week.
Oct.10 2020
Hi, Sophia,
I like that in you story you added emojis! What I also like about your story is that the ending says, They had a fun time and decided that they will have another playdate next week.
Beat wishes,
Selene
Thank you Selene.
At the state fair
One day,Bob.Lucy and Lily went to the state fair.
Bob has a cotton candy it looks like a cloud,Lucy has a apple drink,Lily has a dog balloon.When they got to the circus, they found the circus was closed,Lucy was sad, because that was her first time came here, then Lily and Bob said: we can go to another place play.Lucy said itβs fine. We can go to the trainγa pirate shipγferris wheel.
They play everywhere.They have a fun day
Dear Alastair,
I like your story. It sounds like they’ve had some ups and downs but eventually have a great day. I like the part where they run into a problem and then solved the problem. What do they say to each other to solve the problem?
Best,
Ally
At the State Fair
Today is the first day of state fair. Kate and her younger sister Ava went to the state fair together. They were ready to have funs.
After they arrived, Kate and Ava saw a lot of rides they all like. They were so excited.
βAva, which one do you want to go first? It is so hard for me to chooseβ, Kate asked.
Ava pointed the carrousel said,β I want merry-go-round. May I?β
Kate hold Avaβs hands said, βYes. Letβs go!β
Carrousel is so fun.
After they rode the carrousel, they felt thirsty. So Kate bought a drink for themselves.
They were looking for the next ride. At this moment, Kate saw one boy who was holding a cotton candy came to them.
βHi, Kate.β The boy called.
Kate opened her eyes to look at the boy, β Oh, Jackson. Itβs nice to meet you here.β
βMe too, Kate.β Jackson smiled.
Kate and Jackson are good friends at school.
βJackson, your cotton candy looks like a tornado.β Kate said.
βYes, it is!β Jackson said.
When Kate and Jackson was talking, Ava felt bored. So she started to look around.
Ava saw a bunch of colorful balloons behind them.
She walked to the man who was holding it.
βYour balloons are beautiful like a rainbow! How much for one balloon?β Ava said.
βOne dollar each.β The man answered.
Ava turned round to ask money from Kate.
But, Kate disappeared.
Ava looked around. She cannot see Kate. Her tears came out. She didnβt know what to do.
βWait, mommy told us, if we get lost with each other, go back to the place we saw each other at the last second.β she talked to herself.
She wiped her tears and stood at that spot.
Almost three minutes later, Ava heard,β Ava!β She found Kate was running to her. Ava ran to Kate as well. Kate and Ava had a big hug.
βAva, where are you going? I am so worried about you!β Kate asked.
βI am sorry. I felt bored when you are talking. I went to the balloons.β Ava cried and said.
βDonβt cry, Ava. My fault, I didnβt take good care of you! Now we are fine.β Kate said.
Finally, Kate and Ava got together.
Then, Kate, Ava and Jackson went take the rides together. They had a lot of fun like every year. It was still a great day at the state fair.
Dear Ella,
What a nice story you wrote! I loved to read the dialogues in your story. I also liked how you naturally made the problem occur when Ava couldn’t see Kate. And the way they solve the problem together is so very smart! Great plot! I can’t wait to read more stories from you!
Best wishes,
Ally
Dear Ms. Ally,
Thank you so much for your nice words. I learned how to write a story from you. I want to write more good stories for you to read. I hope I can learn more writing skills from you.
Sincerely,
Ella Liu
When Chirpy Flew Away.
This really happened.
It was a nice sunny morning and my parents dedicated to bring Chirpy (my pet bird)outside, we thought chirpy wouldn’t fly away but he did. Since chirpy hasnβt been outside he’s scared of a lot of things so I picked up a flower petal thinking he would like it but that’s how he flew away. We spent the next 3 hours trying to get him back! That’s when Angela woke up to me crying about when chirpy flew away. We tried getting him millet (chirpyβs favorite food) but he didn’t come because he was probably was too tired from flying 3,4, or even 5.but then another bird scared him away witch almost got him out of site, but we could still see him although he looked like a yellow dot. then mom and dad somehow got to the other side of the fens but mom got tired but dad kept running and got to chirpy but chirpy flew away. Luckly, chirpy didnβt get far, he just flew to the front yard and Angela (my older sister) took him inside.
Dear Eric,
What a gripping story you wrote! Although I was expecting a story that happened at the fair, I do like your story a lot. I like the fact that you had a real problem and everyone in your story tried hard to solve the problem. I’m glad Chirpy got back and the problem was solved. I’m sure if you had written the story about the fair, it would also be a great story. Can’t wait to read more from you!
Best,
Ally
In the Pumpkin Patch
One day in October of last year, John, Cat and their mom went to a pumpkin patch to pick up pumpkins for decoration. They tried to find a big, round and perfect pumpkin. John said: I want to get an orange one. Cat said: I want a white one. They kept looking for different ones because they could not decide. John saw an orange pumpkin looks like a huge orange. Cat found a white pumpkin looks like a humongous marshmallow. They took the pumpkins to the cashier, weighed the pumpkins and mom paid the money. After that, they went to a hayride. The ride driverβs hair is as white as snow. They saw colorful trees and red apples on the ride. They heard birds chirping. In the end, they drove back home happily with the pumpkins.
Dear Letian,
I like your story! Although I was expecting a story about what happened at the fair, you still have a really good story. I enjoy going to the pumpkin patch, too. What’s special about your story is that people wanted different things but were able to respect each other and eventually find one they all like. Keep writing! Can’t wait to read more from you.
Best,
Ally
Oct, 18,2020
Dear Ally,
Thanks for the message. I feel happy for the message. Everybody is different and we like different stuff. I will make a story happened at the fair next time. I hope you will like it.
sincerely,
Letian
Rose and her family went to the carnival. Rose said:β I want to play Arcadeβ. Ben, Red, Den said: βyay, letβs goβ. First, they played the packman Arcades in the video game section. Later, they were hungry and they went to buy meals. Rose got a hamburger , Ben got French fries, Red got Lemonade, she said this lemonade is as cold as ice. Then they went to the balloon shop. Red bought a bundle of animal balloons. Red saw the balloon popping up just like popcorn. After that, they went to watch the circus . They watched a clown show. The clown juggled balls. He did not drop the balls. They felt happy. After the show ended, they wanted to go to the ride but it was to late. So they went home and made a carnival.
Dear Evans,
You have such a nice story! I like the details that you put into the story. I can’t wait to read more from you, more stories and stories with a problem to solve.
Best,
Ally
Dear Mrs. Ally,
Thank you for writing a letter for me.
I like the letter you sent me because it is polite.
I worked with my mom to improve my 2nd story based on your suggestion.
Thank you,
Evans
Emma I like the way of your spelling and action
A day at the carnival
One bright sunny Saturday, Maya and Jack’s parents took them to the carnival. On their way, they picked up Andrew. Soon they arrived. Maya’s mom told them kids to gather around then she said:” Now listen, you are big kids now, Jack, would you please take care of your sister and Andrew? Here are some money and a watch for you!” She handed the money and the watch to Jack. “what’s the watch for?” asked Maya. “It’s to make sure you come back at four o’clock, the alarm will strike at 3:50.” said Maya’s mom. “Where are you going to do mom?” We need to go shopping, said mom. They waved goodbye. The kids are very excited, Jack asked: ” what ride should we go on first?” asked Jack. Maya and Andrew looked at each other and said ” Faries wheel?” They yelled together. Jack laughed, Okay let us do it!”
After a few rides, they went to the theater. When they saw the time, they were really disappointed, because the show starts at 3:00 and it will take one hour and thirty minutes. They would not have the time to watch the show since mom told them to come back at 4:00. They were really sad for a moment, then Jack had an idea. He ran to the tickets booth, where he found a telephone! He called his mom and asked if they could have forty five extra minutes. His mom said that they could. Jack ran back and told Andrew and Maya the good news. Then after they bought the tickets, Maya suddenly said : Wait, May we get some snacks too? Jack told her sorry we do not have time. Maya was really sad. When they went in, the cashier asked if they want to get some snacks? “Yes, please!” said Maya. They went in after they got the treats and enjoyed the show.
It was really fun time for Maya and her friends.
Dear Helen,
I really enjoyed reading your story.
Here are the reasons why I like your story. First of all, your story is completed with a beginning, middle and end. Second, I really like the dramatic part of your story. At the beginning, they were sad for not having enough time to watch the movie. Then, Jack found a solution. Jack called his mom to ask for extra minutes. At last, Jackβs mom said they can have extra time to finish the movie and they were so happy.
I am so looking forward to reading more stories from you.
Sincerely,
Ella
Dear Ella,
Thank you for replaying me, I also liked the part when they were sad for not having enough time to watch the movie. I am working on a new one now, you can look for it.
Sincerely,
Helen.
I like the part in your when they both got what they wanted π
One bright summer day May and her family went to the state fair. there was a lot of people there. ” I want food!!”said May but there were so many people was not enough food for everyone! The solution was that they went and got food.Then they had a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 11, 2020
Dear Darren N,
I really liked your story because you described the setting really, really well!!!!!!!!!
π
π π π π π
thanks π π π π π π π π π π π π
October 11οΌ2020
HiοΌMason and Luke
Mason and Luke.I usually have a old bagpack.now I have a new bagpack and I go to school everyday and I buy go noodle at App Store. I build two LEGO at my house.When you came my house letβs play on my iPad.
friendlyοΌ
Alastair
HI LOVE YOU
One day me and my family went to the park in 2020 there was a looot of people there. And there was a very big lake many of the people were on boats. And the lake had a part that was green! We walked through two very big forests and turned around and went into the car and went home.
Dear Jack,
Hey Jack whatβs up? Guess what? My story got published! Ya wanna read it? It was announced on YYC News this morning! Hope ya go get it! Oh, ya wanna come play Among Us?
Dear Mr. Heffley,
I wanted to thank you for being such a great teacher and helping me when I was a student. You taught me many new things, and you taught me how to write a good story, and thanks to my story got published!